The Emotional Journey Before Goodbye

What is anticipatory grief?

Anticipatory grief is the natural emotional response we have when we start to feel a loss before it actually happens. According to the American Psychological Association, it’s the grief people experience while waiting for an expected loss, like when a loved one’s health is declining or when facing major life changes such as loss of independence. This kind of grief is different from the grief that comes after someone passes. It’s often mixed with many feelings all at once, like hope for more time, fear of what’s coming, sadness for what’s being lost, and sometimes even guilt.

Who experiences anticipatory grief?

This type of grief touches many people connected to the aging journey: family members, close friends, caregivers, and even the individuals facing health challenges themselves. Each person’s experience is unique, but the emotional impact is real and valid.

Recognizing the signs

It’s important to remember that grief, including anticipatory grief, doesn’t follow a set timeline or predictable path. Everyone experiences it differently, with some days feeling heavier, and others lighter. Emotions can come in waves, overlap, or even catch you by surprise. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to grieve, and no schedule you need to follow. This unpredictability is a natural part of the process and reflects the deeply personal nature of loss.

Navigating the journey: Coping strategies

While anticipatory grief can feel heavy, there are ways to manage and honor these emotions. Keep in mind that no two experiences are the same, and your path through grief may look different from someone else’s. What helps one person may not feel right for another—and that’s okay.

Here are a few supportive strategies to consider:

• Practice mindfulness or deep breathing to ease anxiety and bring your focus to the present moment.
• Try journaling to explore your thoughts and feelings, offering clarity and emotional release.
• Reach out for support whether through trusted friends, caregiver groups, or professionals who understand the emotional complexity of this time.
• Allow yourself to feel—grief, hope, frustration, gratitude—whatever surfaces. All of it belongs, and giving yourself space to feel is a powerful step in the process.

The role of a care professional

If you are working with a care professional such as a care manager, home care provider, hospice team, or someone from a senior living or nursing home community, they may be a helpful starting point when emotions feel overwhelming. These professionals often understand the emotional challenges that can arise during times of illness or change, including anticipatory grief. Depending on their role, they might check in on how you are coping, offer practical support, or connect you with counselors or grief support groups. Asking for help isn’t a weakness, it’s a way to take care of yourself through something difficult.

Anticipatory grief reminds us that grief is not only about endings but also about love, connection, and the courage to face the unknown. It’s a testament to the bonds that shape our lives and the strength found in vulnerability.

Disclaimer: The story shared here is fictional but reflects the real and deeply personal experiences many people face when anticipating the loss of a loved one. This content is for general informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice.